Okay, now

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Relaxed, maybe good for blood pressure. But how about life?

How about in your prime, when you are young and strong? You are relaxed with your situation- very much comfortable with it. 8 hours of loadshedding a day, noise, pollution, crappy leadership in the country, mis-judged policies. Hooliganism and anarchy. Injustice. If you are relaxed and do nothing about it. Then your situation is not going to change, you have to speak when you need to, fight when you need to stand up against something. (my)Old saying- it is more difficult to be on the wrong side- they might look intimidating- but they can’t fight. Because righteousness is always a bigger sword.

So don’t shy from confrontations- for there will always be. Problems don’t solve by itself, they need to be nailed down. And you can’t depend on anyone else to solve your problems. You got to do it on your own.

No that takes time too. And effort. I am at a situation where I need all my efforts to be best placed to my studies, so I can specialize early enough, make good money by 40s and then do what I want to do for the rest of my life. Most of the people would end their life at what I want to achieve at forty. But I want more- much more. My dreams don’t end with good house, cars and family. I want to get into politics, I want to write, I want to make the difference that I believe in. For that I need a base- to know that I have done for my family- made enough money to live by comfortably. Because getting into politics is a slow process. It will undermine my existence at first, they will all downplay my capabilities. I might even implode. So it’s a survival strategy- that I earn first. Become filthy rich. I am not going to ignore my family’s needs and put the country first. Yes, I do have big plans for the country. But I don’t believe in sacrifices. I don’t agree with bigger the sacrifice, bigger the difference. I will (okay, say selfishly) do with my personal priorities first. I am not a selfless hero.

Thus, I have to stop procrastinating now. I have been in an intellectual coma for a very long time. I have to come out of it. Be alive. For the time, is passing by. And if I don’t build a foundation for my future now my dreams would never realize. If not for dreams, what is there to keep living?

About love, I have loved. Truly, most wonderfully and most sickeningly. It would not be something entirely missing in my life. Though I miss being in love, I can’t afford time to cajole one. So, I will put that in my ‘in a while list’.

I have a long way to go. And fast. So I need to work hard.

Robert Forst said,

Woods are lovely, dark and deep

But I got promises to keep

Miles to go before I sleep.

Miles to go before I sleep.


day 2: Things I strongly believe in.

Day 2 of my blogging challenge requires me to write about thing I strongly believe in.


A thing or some things? I don’t know. 

I am supposed to write about a thing I guess, and I have been trying to think all day, what do I really really believe in?

Gods, I’m kind of religious, I inherited the faith, so I do believe in that. But more than in religion I believe in religious tolerance. I  am hindu because I was born in a hindu family, as simple as that. I could have been born of any other faith, and I believe my Gods, from Sun to Shiva and Jesus and Allah and Buddha, they take care of us all. We call them different names, just like water is called different things in different languages, but we it quenches thirst of every throat.

It is something divine, we pray to. My prayers have been answered many times.

I believe in Love. When someone says love’s the ultimate thing, source of true happiness, I do believe in that. Because I have loved and known that first hand. So I believe in love and that it makes you do wonders. And I believe that unrequited love can make people go crazy too. I believe in its strength.

I believe in certain abstract things too. Little ones. Miracles too. I believe in what this guy Paulo Coelho  said- if you really want something, the whole universe conspires in your favor. I believe if you catch a leaf falling off the tree, it brings you good luck. I believe in happy coincidences. I believe if you are a good man, no bad things should happen to you. I even believe that if you tell your broken laptop you will treat it better, it will fix itself!

I believe for an ailing patient in hospital, more love and care you show, more are his chances of survival, better chance of getting well soon. I have seen that first hand, many cases.  

These are my funny assumptions, rather difficult to understand.

And even if all these things prove to be wrong, just my mistaken point of view, there’s one thing I can totally believe in, myself. And I do believe in myself.

 I know I am not a genius, and if I stop working hard, stop making efforts, lucky flukes will soon run short, and I will become an insignificant nothing.  I procrastinate a lot, I do things I shouldn’t do, and I avoid things I should be doing (actually, I’m doing just that nowadays), but I believe I can resurrect myself from the low, do the right things, make myself what I really ought to be. I have been in a vacation, for too long now, I was working but not really working, not doing things the best I could. I haven’t tired myself, I haven’t worn myself out, I haven’t tried hard enough. But I really should, make life worth it. I can, I believe in that.